This afternoon, I was feeling pretty sad/angry/bored (all of the above?) and decided I would take a short walk to try and clear my head...I find myself using this time to mentally evaluate things that are going on in my life and to think about the past, present and future.. kind of like a moving meditation session.
During this afternoon's walk I contemplated many different things, but one thing in particular prompted me to write this post and that is the burning question:
"Karl with all the shit you've gone through why are you still alive?"
(yes I contemplate my mortality on a regular basis, deal with it)
I have always been fairly competitive with most things, going so far to make small/silly competitions out of seemingly mundane things (and conversely quickly abandoning those things which I'm not good at) and I play to win...
In the context of my walk, the app on my phone gives me regular updates as to how fast I'm currently going, how far I've gone and split-times and every-time I go for a walk/jog I start off fairly slowly until I'm told "current pace is x" and then my competitive spark kicks in and I go fuck-it I'm going to go a little bit faster for the next interval ...
So bringing it full circle (I often go on wild tangents when I talk/think, but I'm not going to apologize for it since this is my blog!) I think one of the main reasons why I'm still here today is my passion/competitive nature; I take great pride in winning, not only against others but in beating my own previous best attempts...
I remember a time not that long ago where I was known for my passionate, fighter, never-give-up ways and I'm hoping to re-kindle that flame inside of me, stay tuned...
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