Today is day 2 or 3, to be honest I'm not even 100% sure, since i stopped taking my anti-depression medicine...I have been having rather intense headaches and dizy spells for the whole weekend. It is possibly the alcohol I've consumed but I'm not even sure of that.

Most of Friday night as I laid alone in bed, in an empty house, I contemplated what and how I would write a suicide note to the world and I thought to myself am I just sad/depressed/broken or am I just "coming down" from the chemicals that have been trying to balance me for the last few months....

Often there are times where I will remind myself that it's "just in my head and it isn't real" and sometimes it helps, others not so much.

The rationalist in me knows that I probably should go get my script re-filled tomorrow and re-start taking the medication, but there is a part of me (the rebel?) that wants to just ride it out for as long as i can and just see what happens...

Work has been quite stressful of late and I find myself really struggling at times both at just being productive and also just holding myself together, I think I'm quite lucky that my direct boss (the owner/director) actually understands and can appreciate some of what I am going through or so I am led to believe...